2 weeks 

It’s been two weeks with no meds. I feel spaced out. I feel like I’m spended in time. I think, but I can not be sure, that my mood is out of wake too. So what is the fix. I’m removing all soda and the last bit of candy. I refuse to be a pin cushion. So vitamin D3, Iron, and Maginisum 10 milligrams on deck. I think also vitamin C for my immune system. Adding more water (11 cups). It’s been cold so I have not walked my dogs. That shall be started again, even if it’s cold. I also plan to start my sit ups and pushup laugh at that, but I’ll try. My weight is 210. Its the heaviest ive ever been. On the way done.  My goal is 150, no set date! Life is strange, live it one step at a time 99 1/2.

 

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2 weeks 

It’s been two weeks with no meds. I feel spaced out. I feel like I’m spended in time. I think, but I can not be sure, that my mood is out of wake too. So what is the fix. I’m removing all soda and the last bit of candy. I refuse to be a pin cushion. So vitamin D3, Iron, and Maginisum 10 milligrams on deck. I think also vitamin C for my immune system. Adding more water (11 cups). It’s been cold so I have not walked my dogs. That shall be started again, even if it’s cold. I also plan to start my sit ups and pushup laugh at that, but I’ll try. My weight is 210. Its the heaviest ive ever been. On the way done.  My goal is 150, no set date! Life is strange, live it one step at a time 99 1/2.

 

Off meds

M.S. has claimed it’s place in my life, rather I like it or not. I was given a choice of 4 drugs. Three of which will cause cancer, brain bleed, or kidney failure. I choose the lesser evil Rebif It is given by needle, I hate needles. I think it’s water that they are charging 40 dollars a needle for three times a week. This stuff makes me feel like crap. I am sick for three days out of the week. As soon as I feel good again it’s time for another shot. The Pitts.

I stopped taking it. It’s been two weeks now. Not even sure how I feel yet. I am moving fine. My hearing seems muffled. But I’m still here. My bike is moving, water  on overdrive and eating almost no meat and sweets. Road to complete health.

This place #M.S. #Health

This place is crazy. My body does what it wants. I am a fighting so giving up the ghost is not an option! My husband built me a bike. It is lite and I can ride it far. FIFTY miles plus. Going to ride from Miami to the keys this year. My first big goal is to run a 5k in March. It will be hard but I’m ready.  I’m looking at getting a trek bike. I thinnk I deserve a $ 2000 bike. 2018 year of Kenyata.

Dreams and Reality

M.S. is the worst or at least one of the worst diseases you could have. No one knows you have it until you are decrepted. I was diagnosed in Oct 2011. I think I have always been a dreamer. I see things in ways others could not imagine. The sun just always seem so bright. The moon is always so big and bright.

My dreams are always so vivid. I once had a great love. It called to me long after I had said good-bye. I would see the person in my dreams happy and living the best life. I would have bad dreams were they needed me. I would smell them on sweet summers day. I would be over run by the thoughts of them. I never remembered the bad only the good. See when you have M.S it damages your brain in ways you can not imagine. My brain according to the nerogloist my brain has rerouted itself. Only it didn’t discard this memory. So I’m plaque with what I want to forget. I guess my brain said I still needed this.

The reality of the situation is not what this dreamer ever thought it was. My brain has been playing tricks for some time. What I thought was reality never really was. My brain allowed me to think and feel what was faux. I loved the ride but it was wasted time. I would not give back a second because it prepared me for what was to come. I learned how to deal with disappointment. I learned also how toget up after you have been let down. The drugs they give you for M.S. cause cancer and they ruin your kidney’s. So I learned toget back up or try  different drugs. I’m a pin cushion, from all the shots. 

My dream about the encounter with that great love was not as I expected. They are not the same person and my dreams said they called. Well that’s the joke of the day. They never called for me. That was all in my head. The great love never felt any of that love. It was a buffer to sooth their pain. Now that I have had this encounter I’m sure that reality is reality. I have full control and M.S. has to take a back seat. Winning this battle 99 1/2.

No time to waste!

Ok so my healthy time on earth is limited. I have tried to right my wrongs some went well others not so much. I have total peace with myself. I know my weakness and my strengths. I only have time for those that are on board for living there best life nothing more. I have been traveling and loving it. I did a road trip with my husband. You get really close trapped in a car for a lot of hours. Cozemel, Mexico was fun and wild. I stepped off a cliff  in the ocean thought I was going to die but, I didn’t lol. I will be going to St. Croix this summer. I think it’s going to be fun, something new. Im doing a hot air balloon ride. The ballon will be scary but I’m doing it. There is not a moment to spare doing nothing. I deem this year the year of Kenyata. I think I deserve to be first. No more back of the line. No time to waste!

Why me?

Ok so I created this site some time ago! I think I must have been feeling sad for myself. I was diagnosed with M.S. in March 2012. For a moment I thought how horrible life is going to be. Then I thought I’ve been in a car that flipped 8 times, hit by a car that throw me against a tree. I have been strong, brave, superhero to my kids. But this is that one thing that was not going away. I said well  can do this. I went to the all day treatments, by myself. Sitting in a small room with a needle in my arm, why they pushed an orange substance in my veins. I was so sick afterwards each time. All the while I look fine. I am a women who never needs anyone  , I’m the giver, not sure if I even knew how to receive. So, once  again  I pulled it together and kept pushing. I was taking a shower one day and when I went to step out of the shower I fell. I hit the floor so hard. It hurt really bad. I lay their naked on the floor crying. The first time I had to admit that I had M.S. My balance was bad and my left side goes numb. I take shoots three times a week and get and infusion every three months. So I wake up in night sweats, I get headaches that are so bad that lights are my enemy. I have mood swings because my hypothumus is scared. My body hurts daily. So why me? I’m not religious but  very spiritual. I don’t believe God will give you more then you could bear. I prayed and prayed because meds were taken a toll on my kidneys. He answered my prayers in a way I was not expecting.  My husband wanted a kid, I did not. God had a good joke. I was pregnant, which ment no meds. I wasn’t sick anymore and symptoms were gone. Even after the baby I was free, no meds. For three years I was free. The symptoms have returned but I’m able to keep them at bay. I speak to people with the same disease, that are in worst conditions. I give them hope! That makes me ask the question again why me? I guess I will know one day until then 99 1/2.