Present

I was told today, I am a good mom! My first response was I guess. My life has been crazy since they (team of five) have been on earth. My 17 year old is graduating this year. He has never been in trouble and he is working! The 16 year is up next no trouble. Plays varsity football and he babysits. The youngest are on track.

The third is my girl she does very well in school. She is a distance runner. She is the wind. I dropped her at FSU for running camp. She is the baby of the first set of kids. When I tell you there is nothing on earth that will stop my grind toget these kids to the finish, believe it.

The comment wasn’t something I needed. I do for my kids because I’m suppose to. Not even Multiple sclerosis stops the show. When the end comes, they will say she did that!

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Well needed rest!

So I got through my rough moment! I haven’t been sleeping well lately! So once again I complained to my husband and this came. This mattress is the truth! I went to sleep after 15 minutes of laying in it. It is awesome to be loved. More sleep no back pain! Feels like I’m in an upscale hotel!

I am working on being a better person or normal person. The man is great, no reason to complain! Better days 99 1/2!


Weak flesh!

A little different subject, topic! I’m working on being a better person and for the most part I am. My family life is awesome. I have a house, a car, and a great job! If I ask my husband for something, it appears! There is no reason for me to be unhappy at all! I think self destruction is my problem. Not knowing how to except good things, when all your use to is disappointment and failure.

I’m a bit over the top with everything I do. I mean with everything! I love to have sex and it’s really bad at times!(gotta have it)

Weak flesh! I getting stronger but I am self destructing I would never violate my marriage physically. I am guilty of violating it in thought! My mind always goes where it should not go and it is a daily struggle to keep it in the right place. I wish that I could just wake up and think one way but it is never going to happen. My cravings are strong but i keep them at bay. Someone told me that when things are good that is when the bad tries to bring you back. For the bad doesnt want to lose you!

I’m working on me and I will get there but it will take some time. It’s been seven years and I still feel the same way! It is like I’m a drug addict and I have to go to AA just to keep from chasing that high!

Trying desperately not to self destruct!

Flashes

It’s been a hard couple of weeks for me. I got a great job, making good money! I have a nice sized house. I also have super awesome kids. People say that when you get to this point in life you, transition, you die. I had flashes of life all day. My chest feels like a elephant is sweating on it. I want to say I’m not going until I’m ready. This pain is insane, so I want to say im ready to go! But these little ankle bitters, not having that. So this pain I’m enduring, needs to go away! This week beef goes away, I’m almost vegan!

Bliss!

I will start by saying my garden failed. I planted to many seeds in one bed. It’s ok I will start again. I was down a couple of weeks due to my M.S. issues. I lived through it. So I’m still on no meds. I refuse. I think diet and exercise is the best way to heal! I moved from my old residence because I was stressing to

much. So I have to start my garden from scratch. Im ok with that but this yard is a monster. I think I will begin in another two weeks. Oh I have two sixteen year olds. That is so insane. I thought to myself. I still feel 20! So my new residence is a two story also, it took two weeks to put everything away! The price of having my own slice of heaven is priceless! My three year old is running all over the house and my 10 month old is speed crawling from room to room. I am so excited, so happy, and relieved by this new space! I am giving thanks every time I walk through the door. Living this thing called life, 99 1/2!

Where I’m supposed to be!

Looking back at everything I’ve been through! I have every reason to be angry! I’m not I’m coasting through life. I have a brain disease and you can’t tell. I bet most think I’m lying. I have a MRI to prove it! Enjoying life with the people in it. Oh by the way! I’m a firm believer in when something belongs to you, if you let it go,It will return, if it was truly yours! I got my Cadillac back! It only took 7 years! Anyway I’m in complete bliss!

Thoughts!

Its been two months, with no meds. I feel good. I do have and occasional fatigue spell. My niece was born yesterday! I am so excited I can not contain myself. So I sent a crib, child bedding, and stuffed animals. I’m going to be the best auntie ever!